Bad Day On My Boot Camp Voyage!

As I was eating a piece of toasted cheese today I realized that, toasted cheese is not exactly on the menu! Then I began thinking back to everything that I had put in my mouth today and remember, it is currently only 4:30. The morning started out right with oatmeal, pears, and milk then the day went down the tubes. The kids and I headed out the door to go dress shopping and needless to say after trying on several dresses I just did not find one that I really liked. My sweet kids wanted me to get a couple of them because they said I looked pretty, maybe I should be listening to them more than my inner voice of nothing looks good enough yet.

As we were starting home the kids asked for pizza in the car like we did with Dad once, I saw a Little Caesars and thought, what the heck, that’s when a Cheese Pizza right out of the oven ended up in the car. I saw the pizza and thought to myself I will have 1 piece because it won’t hurt me in the long run. one turned into 2 and a crappy feeling in my stomach, but did I stop there………….NO.

Next on my menu today was 2 mini Peanut Butter Eggs, a handful of Starburst Jellybeans, and most recently the dreaded but oh so yummy Toasted Cheese! I literally said to myself out loud, “What am I doing, I feel like crap eating this stuff!” That is when I realized I was eating crappy for a few reasons. As I said before I went dress shopping and because I did not feel good about how I was looking in the dresses I was trying on I took pity on myself. I believe the other reason is that Steve is going to be gone for several weeks and I basically just took my stress, that I did not think I had, out on crappy food. Note to self, Do Not Fall Into that Trap Again.

I know that I am on a Journey and I will have good days and bad days on my quest for a HEALTHY LIFE. I hope that I will be able to identify when I am stressed or just having a bad day before I turn to food like I did today. Just as I was writing this I remembered a session I had with my Therapist when I was being treated for my eating disorder. I had been given an assignment to come up with a list of easy, accessible things that I could do if and when I had the urge to throw up. I have decided I need to do that again. Here are a few things that I have come up with.

1. Talk to my Hubby or someone else if he is not available.
2. Go outside and play with my kids.
3. Go for a walk or bike ride.
4. Work in the yard.
5. Read back in my journal I kept off and on during my Eating Disorder Therapy.
6. Play the piano.
7. Sew something
8. Write down my thoughts and feelings at that moment.

I am starting fresh tonight and I’m excited for a great workout in the morning!!

HARD IS GOOD!!