Blessings

Yesterday I was on my way to a doctor appointment alone which, as a mom doesn’t happen very often. As I was driving in silence a wonderful thought was brought to mind and I feel very strongly that I needed to write this down for my kids and anyone else that it might help.

During the course of starting a family Steve and I have lost 6 babies. We lost 2 before having Tyson, 2 before Parker, & 2 before Chloe. All but 1 of these miscarriages and 1 demise were during the second trimester up to 20 weeks. I of course had my struggles with the fact that my body was not able to carry these babies full term but I was always given the strength from my Heavenly Father that I would be okay and that I would be reunited with these precious children again.

All of our kids have been delivered by c-section and after Chloe was born my doctor felt that my body would still be strong enough to carry another child without bringing harm to myself or the baby. Well when Steve and I decided to add to our family again we just had planned on having 2 miscarriages because that seemed to be the pattern. When I found out I was pregnant Steve and I kept it to ourselves and then told family so they could keep us in their prayers. I had been praying during the first part of that pregnancy that I would not start showing until we could find out what we were having. I felt that I would be more comfortable letting people know that we were pregnant after that 20 week mark. My prayers were answered, It was time to go to the ultrasound and we gave the kids quite the surprise, they were having a baby brother. That ultrasound was on December 20th 2011, by Christmas I had gone from not showing to full on pregnant.

The day after Christmas Steve and I were in a car accident that totaled our car. I was admitted to the hospital overnight to monitor the baby and again we were blessed with a continued healthy pregnancy.

I did have a few minor day stays and 1 other overnight stay in the hospital for monitoring and then on April 24th Zander came into our lives. After he had been delivered my doctor let me know that she felt it was in my best interest to have my tubes tied because my uterus was so thin. I had been praying for several months that if that was the feeling of my doctor that I would be able to feel comforted that it was the right decision. I was so grateful to feel, again, the love of my Heavenly Father in that moment of decision that it was okay and it needed to be done to keep me safe and healthy for myself and my family.

Now for the thought that came to mind yesterday. I strongly feel that if I was to have had 1 or 2 more miscarriages that it could have thinned out my uterus which could have been very detrimental with the birth of Zander. I know that Heavenly Father is watching over us every minute of every day and I feel so blessed to have 4 beautiful kids here on earth and 6 more waiting in Heaven. I am so thankful to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and that I have a testimony of eternal life and forever families.

Little Pink Tights

As I was folding laundry tonight I came across some little pink tights and it made me stop and think about how blessed we are to have this amazing little girl! When I went in for the ultrasound Steve and I were first told we would be having a boy. After the technician continued we were then told girl then boy and it continued back and forth. We were finally given an 80% chance after 2 techs took a look that we were having a boy. I was pretty sure that we would be seeing a little guy in a few months but, just incase, I made bedding for a little girl and had a little outfit ready. Needless to say we were happily surprised when the Doctor told us that we now have a little girl! Chloe is a Joy that is always putting a smile on my face and everyone around her.
During this last pregnancy people would always say. “are you hoping for a girl?” My reply was always the same, “I just want a healthy baby.” Steve and I have had some trials when it comes to bringing these amazing little babies into the world. We have had 5 miscarriages and 1 fetal demise. Out of those pregnancies we know that 3 of our kids waiting for us with Heavenly Father are little boys, and it wouldn’t surprise us in the least if the other 3 were boys as well.  I have learned so much from each of these experiences and have grown that much closer to my Father in Heaven. I have been asked in the past how I am able to recover mentally & spiritually after losing a child and my answer is this, I feel that Heavenly Father knows who I am and knows what I can handle as a person and as his daughter. I know that he will not give me trials that I am not able to handle. I think this answer shocks people but it really is true. Even though losing a child is extremely heart breaking and does take so much out of me, I have come to the conclusion that these little babies are so spiritually strong that they just needed to come to this earth even for just the short few months I carried them. I look forward to the day I will get to hold them and love them as they are, a part of my Eternal Family.
The opportunity to be an Eternal Family is such an amazing gift from our Father in Heaven. I am so grateful to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and to have knowledge of The Plan of Salvation. I love my family so much and am excited for all the adventures we have ahead of us.

Pre-eclampsia After Delivery??????? Re-addmitted to L&D

Tuesday comes and it is time for me to get my staples taken out. We get to the Dr.s office and I have been really emotional the last few days because, oh yeah, I just had a baby and plus I am in a lot of pain even though I have been taking my pain pills as prescribed.

I get called back and get weighed and start to explain my concerns to the nurse which include;
*Still weighing more than when I was pregnant
*Constant headache through the pain medication
*Legs so swollen that I had no ankles, arches, and pitting edema
*Intense pain at the incision site
*Maternity clothes are so tight they are leaving indentations in my skin
At this point Steve and the boys are out in the waiting room and the nurse has the Dr come in. She checks my incision first and give the OK to have the staples taken out. She listens to my symptoms and checks a few things and then says "it seems you have Pre-eclampsia." She then told me that I will need to be readmitted to the hospital. My first response, while crying, because I couldn't hold it in any longer was "was it something that I did or didn't do to cause this?" I was reassured that it is not caused by anything I did or didn't do, Mom guilt not a nice thing. I thought that pre-eclampsia was only something that happens before the delivery. I find out that pre-eclampsia can happen before delivery (like I had with our boys), during delivery, & after delivery. So as I am trying to not let my emotions get the best of me while the nurse is taking out the staples I am telling her about how my boys have been so intrigued with the staples. Every time someone would come to visit Tyson would ask if they wanted to see my staples, I don't think so. Then they of course wanted to see the staples get taken out but that didn't happen either.

The nurse goes into the waiting room to get Steve and He immediately starts to worry because, I was just there to have the staples taken out. We are all in the office and the Dr. comes in to send me to Labor & Delivery to be monitored and have labs done.

Family is Great!! Once we were at the hospital family was called and my Dad came up to pick up our boys. Uncle Cody and Aunt Paige then kept them for 2 nights so that I could get lots of sleep and recover. I am so grateful for all the prayers that were said in my behalf from family and friends.

After having blood tests done, EKG, Echo-cardiogram, & multiple blood pressures being taken it is time to wait. During this time I am given the drug Demerol and wow did that make me loopy. I guess Steve kept telling me not to talk but I kept talking. Parker kept coming out T T T T Tarker. I kept telling him the same thing over and over and asking the same questions. Then I really needed to go to the bathroom and thought that I still had a catheter in. I was so frustrated and crying and asked the nurse if there was something wrong because I did not feel like I could pee. She then told me that I did not have a catheter and at that point I was really glad that all my trying to relax did not work because I would have peed all over myself.

Finally all of the tests came back clear and it was decided that I, for some reason, just had massive amounts of edema. I was told the reason my incision was so painful is because of all the extra fluid that is in my body, finally something that makes sense. I was also told to keep taking my pain medication but to stop taking the Motrin. Apparently in some people (me) Motrin can prevent the body from getting rid of fluid. I was told to keep my legs up and rest as much as possible and that it can take several days to go away. Once again Steve reminded me that I am Super Mom but not Invincible Mom. Finally on Thursday the edema started to go away. Within a 24 hour period my body got rid of 12 pounds and I am happy to say that as of today I think all of the extra fluid is gone. I have lost 19 pounds in the past 4 days.....WoW!

I am amazed at how our bodies react to different things. At this point I am feeling so much better and I have to just keep reminding myself that I still need to relax and recover for the next few weeks.

Why is Service easy to give but hard to take? Thank you to Steve, family, & friends for helping so much and reminding me to relax and let others help take care of me and our family.

Oh The Pain

The day after arriving home from the hospital I realized how important it is to continue with pain pills when a DOCTOR has prescribed them for you.

I had already been having more pain than what I remembered with my last 2 c-sections and was being told over and over by hospital staff that it is normal because the recovery does get harder each c-section. Well, I am sure that is true but I just kept thinking to myself that something is wrong. Normally before leaving the hospital the staples will be taken out but I was told they couldn't because I was quite swollen and that would risk having the incision open up. When I asked the doctor if that is normal He(not my doctor) said that it is very normal to have some swelling and to just have my Dr. remove them on Tuesday. What do you say but, OK. My blood pressure was also quite high but not over 140 so it wasn't a concern at the time.

When I left the hospital my maternity clothes were so tight that i had marks in my skin, very uncomfortable. I decided to weigh myself and found myself weighing 7 pounds more than when I went into the hospital to have Chloe. If you do the math, like I did, I should have at least weighed 7-12 pounds less after the c-section.

We arrived home and after resting for awhile I decided to take a walk around our circle which, with my past c-sections I was already doing a lot of walking so I figured I would be fine. Then our neighbors bought ice cream for the kids in our cult-a-sac so we walked across the road and visited with them for awhile as well. By now I was really tired and walked back home to rest.
Before going to bed I took my prescribed pain pills and then thinking I should start weening myself from them (only 3 days later) took my next one 8 hours later when I was told to take them every 4 hours. I was in a major amount of pain so much that Steve called our neighbor over that is a nurse to take a look at me. It took both of them to get me on to the couch and even then it felt like my insides were tearing apart. I was basically told to rest and make sure I take my pain medication every 4 hours WITHOUT exception. Then our sweet neighbor took both of our boys to her home so that I could try and relax and get some rest. I was also told that I am trying to do to much and to basically Knock It Off! Hard for me to do but I promised I would relax.

My sweet husband keeps telling me that I am a Super Mom but I don't have to be Invincible Mom.

Last Appointment

Today was my last appointment before mystery baby arrives. I am happy to report that all of my vitals were great which compared to the Tyson & Parker's pregnancies is Fantastic!! Other than being super conscious about hand washing and sanitizing with Pink Eye roaming around our house I am feeling really great. We are still looking at the 22nd for the date but now rather than having the c-section at 11:00 it has been moved to 7:00 which means being at the hospital at 5 am, Steve not so excited about that but what do you do. I am so grateful for having such a wonderful pregnancy this go around and I am super excited to see just who it is coming to join our family!

Hospital Tour

Steve & I thought it would be fun for the boys to take a tour at the hospital so they would be a little familiar with where I would be for 3 days in September. All I can say is the new Tooele Mountain West Women's Center is amazing. It just opened 2 weeks ago, so we actually were able to see more than normal on the tour.
The rooms are really nice with queen size pull-out beds in the labor rooms, flat screen TV's. The room that I will be in after the c-section is really nice as well just not as big. Tyson liked that I would have my very own shower which I thought was cute. Then because they are still taking women to the hospital operating room the boys were able to see where I will actually have the c-section (we would not have been able to do that in about a week I think the nurse had said). After that we were able to go in the nursery because there were not any babies yet. The best part is they have a "nutritional room" that we can go to at any time that is stocked with FREE drinks, sandwiches, cookies and other snacks for any of us (Steve, the boys, or myself) during my stay. Yes I said FREE is that possible at a hospital, I guess time will tell.

The boys had a fun time looking at everything and I really enjoyed being able to see how secure and beautiful the facility is.

September 22nd here we come!!!